A Love Hate Affair With 3.5

 I have an ongoing desire to hack 3.5.

Largely as a result of my equally ongoing love/hate relationship with it. 

And I just realised we call those toxic relationships, nowadays... Something I'll have to reflect on...

It's probably just nostalgia. I ran a campaign for about ten years. It was all we played. We new the rules intimately; they became second nature. you know how it is. You get your handful of house rules (like 'No, you do NOT roll to confirm criticals, because that is the shittiest rule ever,') and they become ingrained in your scruffy little gamer souls, your collective game-soul... You have a style of play that is ALL about that system and its quirks and demands and its pay-offs.

And really it was probably never my soul-mate system anyway. Too fussy. Too pedantic about stuff that didn't move anything forward.

But we loved it. 

I loved it.

I loved the skills system. Even though in years to come, the number of times we realised we had all lost track of how many ranks we'd put in anything or why our scores were what they were. Even though 'roll 4 dice and drop the highest' felt intrinsically like cheating. Even though some of the weapons made no sense (a falchion is a two-handed scimitar? Really...?) and there were downright silly weapons in it, like a double flail.... and axe... You could just kind of ignore them, after all. 

The skills list was wonky (I never,  ever thought 'Use Rope' was going to get air time as a skill...) and I don't like so-called Vancian magic (I get why its called that and its as good a name as any, but have you read Vance? Of course not. Nobody, reads anymore, what am I thinking...).

And every now and again, somebody would have to go and grapple or the Cleric would have the audacity to try and do something other that heal people and he'd open the Pandora's box of the Turning rules, and the game would suddenly resemble a genuine medieval mud highway turned to mire in autumn rains and the wheels of your session would grind to a halt...

But. But. A lot of the time it was the best thing we'd ever played.

I didn't even come up playing D&D, by the way. Living in the UK, it wasn't that big. I started out with Traveller, of all things. Progressed to Tunnels and Trolls, moved on to Stormbringer (which I fucking loved...) and then got into Warhammer Fantasy Roleplaying. Which I adored. It was perfect. I played it through University, and three years living in London and then went a broad. While I was away, the only thing I played was a few weeks of a homebrew d6 game I invented to have something to play while I was living in Columbia. When I came back, I didn't have any of my gaming stuff anymore, so I bought Castles and Crusades. I pretty quickly discovered 3.5 online (which had become a thing recently) and by the time I had a circle of regular players, it was making way for 4E, which meant I could buy a tonne of supplements cheap. Which I did.

So what killed it for me?

Over time, novelty fades and irritants build. And for me there were a few irritants, some of which I've mentioned.

And there was the magic. I'm not a 'Vancian' magic fan. In fact, I've read Jack Vance and I'm not sure how 'vancian' 3.5 magic really is. I don't like 'fire-and-forget' spells. I like ritual and ceremony, curses and picking at the threads of Destiny. I like summoning, but not of badgers... I like necromancy that is more about actual necromancy and less about making a list with the same number of spells as every other so-called s'school'. And I like schools of magic... that mean something.

Yeah, I basically don't like the magic system. A LOT. 

And that's a problem, because you can't get away from it in any edition of D&D that I have played.

In Stormbringer, I thought it was cool that you could only summon things and maybe bind them (1st edition, obviously). In Conan 2d20, I love... well everything. Finding a patron, bribing them/it, having very few spells. And not needed a sorcerer in the party at all if you don't want one. In DCC I love rolling a skill test to see how powerful the manifestation of the spell is, and corruption, and displeasing the gods and some of the Patron-based spells are brilliant. The Black Sword Hack has cool non-corporeal demons, which have to possess people to have impact.

Hellboy 5e has some interesting ideas on magic. (Actually, a lot of cool stuff about a lot of stuff. But that's going to have to be another post.)

So, where does this all leave me?

I have a lot of 'stuff, fluff 'n' crunch' for 3.5, a lot of which I like (including the Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting, etc) but which I can't easily port it to anything else because, well because. It doesn't translate easily to DCC, despite DCC being built on 3.5. I could run Barbarians Of Lemuria in it, but I  wouldn't be using any of the rules at all, really. 

I'm going to try and hack it into something more manageable. I have the following TWO design principles in mind: reduce cognitive load, not increase; use existing rules where possible, instead of inventing new ones. In other words: Simply, don't complicate.

 These are the main aspects I think I'm going to have to look at:

Abilities (Attributes)

'Races' (which I'm going to re-name), because some of them are a long list of unrelated 'atomised' abilities with nothing convincing or compelling - I'm looking at elves...

Hit Points

Magic

Money (because money in D&D is the most useless, irritating, messed up thing since ever)

I'll create a post on each topic, as I get around to them. Hopefully I'll even get some feedback. At this stage, I'm aware that I'm just writing out into the ether, but who knows...?

Travelling Merchants in Jackdog Town

Several merchants pass through Jackdog Town at regular intervals. Usually only one of the traders below will be passing through at any time, but during festivals or celebrations, you might be lucky and get two.

I plan to update this as a future point with adventure or campaign hooks.

1. Seomund - Friendly, happy chap, always has a warm greeting and a smile. Scars on his wrists and ankles. Passes through every couple of months, with his trader’s wagon, always happy to purchase the unusual and sell at a decent price, especially knives, axes and arrow(head)s. Usually stocked with non-standard adventuring gear. Trades with the Blue Jar folk. 
2. Chink - Short and stocky with hair he claims has never been cut and facial scars that his paltry facial hair fails to hide. Sells short swords and daggers at a discount, holy symbols, shackles and totems made of teeth. 
3. Kro, Map-seller - They say she’s a hobgoblin, but her trimmed ears give nothing away and though her teeth are large and sharp, all her canines are missing. Likes a cloak and hood in most weather. Sells maps of places nobody should want to go and buys pelts. 
4. Pix - Actually a pixie under the influence of a permanent Enlarge spell;  jumpy, skittish and easily distracted. Sells 1d6 different herbs at any time. Will buy good samples of any herbs they do not have.
5. Heng and Brogun - barbarians dressed in brightly striped trous and unbleached wollen tunics, and wearing outlandish 'barbarian' hair and lengthy moustaches. They speak a remote and obscure dialect to one another, but are fluent in most other languages in the region, including that of the Blue Jar hobgoblins.
6. Rumpunk and Slipskin - this dwarf married couple travel miles upon miles of the forest roads in their covered wagon, and have a passably working relationship with most communities they encounter. Which alone makes them notable. Both enjoy a drink at a familiar bar but regulars know better than to buy Rumpunk spirits, who is known to go into a full-blown beserk rage when crossed, if drunk on spirits. Slipskin is said to have a peculiar affinity for badgers... 

Blue Jar Hobgoblins

This post is an attempt to olffer a possible alternative role for hobgoblins in an RPG setting.

Why?

Well there are a couple of 'problems' with hobgoblins as they are (bearing in mind, of course, that they don't actually exist, and that all this is in my imagination, so 'problem' is probably a strong word...). One is that they are basically very similar to orcs. In outward appearance at least. Which is how they are more often depicted. In fact, really, they are orcs. 

Well, obviously. Tolkien used the word 'hobgoblin' in The Hobbit. Later, he changed his mind, when he realised that the 'hob' bit didn't mean 'big'. In fact, in British folklore, the 'hob' prefix is associated with the literal hob of a cooking hearth, which was originally either a built-in seat beside the hearth or a large hook, often built to swing out when in use, on which the cauldron hung in which ALL food was cooked, depending on who you believe. So a hob goblin is a hearth goblin or a goblin of the home. A kind of house fairy. Or elf, as the terms were pretty much interchangeable throughout most of their common usage. You see the same prefix in the names of other creatures of folklore, such as hob, hobby, Hobberdy Dick, Hobberdy/Hobbaty/hobbidy, Hobley, hobbledehoy, hobyn (a small horse), hobyah and Hob Lantern, all of which occur in Denham's list of mythical creatures which you can see here or here. Oh, and that list includes the word 'hobbit', by the way.

Orc is a much better word for what people seem to enjoy fighting so much in D&D. One of its original meanings was demon. 

Tolkien's creatures, whether called hobgoblins or orcs, were never described as traditional D&D or OSR orcs, i.e. green, strong and stupid. In fact, if they were tormented and disfigured elves, then they were more likely to share the traits elves are known for. One of which is agility. And to be quite tough. To have survived. So an increase in Dexterity... and Constitution? In combat, then, hobgoblins tend to behave significantly differently to orcs, with effective ranged attacks and being quite difficult to kill.

Hobgoblins are nearly always an antagonistic force. Nothing wrong with that, per se, but they are too often mindless baddies, rarely explored in the depth many other evil creatures are. They appear to have no culture, no society. Often, literally no homeland. Thus, no motives, alliances, meaningful aspirations or ambitions and, importantly, no allies.  Also, limited interesting options for interaction with players.

In a campaign I am currently developing, I wanted to do something different with the race, Including offer them as a playable 'folk' or people. So this is my attempt to do so. 

Blue Jar hobgoblins

The Blue Jar inhabit the valleys and caverns of the Cold Goddess Mountains. It is a tribe (or 'nation') consisting of seven 'Wagons' or Clans, each of which further consists of four to six 'Wheels'.  They are largely dispersed and make little attempt to adopt tribal or Clan insignia or distinguishing dress. They dress simply and carry whatever arms and armour they can afford, to defend themselves. The  Blue Jar folk do not seek to set themselves apart from others. Especially not customers. 

The Blue Jar take their name from the blue glaze they put on their ceramics, which they use for many things, including burying the cremated remains of their dead. Predominantly traders and farmers, they form an important link between the Lands Above and the Below. They are almost entirely nomadic, travelling through immense subterranean tunnels in large, family-owned wagons pulled by pairs of Hule (large, lightly furred quadrupeds with disturbingly human-like faces and  which walk on the knuckles of their forelimbs, that stat as horses). 

The wagons of the Blue Jar carry furs and hides,  fungi-woven textiles, herbs, medicinal concoctions, magical charms and even letters. They do not carry blue-glazed jars for sale, only for storage, and these are only rarely sold at all. As they make their ways through the tunnels, caverns, mines, gorges and under-roads beneath the Cold Goddess, Blue Jar encounter a wide assortment of other peoples. They are tolerated because they are generally seen as a universal good, and they strive to maintain this. They will bear, free of charge, letters and other communications between settlements along their route, gladly offer directions to travellers, and where practical offer basic medical treatment. 

The tunnels of the Below connect to some of the larger, more remote valleys of the Cold Goddess Mountain range, where each Clan has a lodge; these are not inhabited all year round, but serve as focal points for shared cultural events such as birth and death marking,  equinox celebrations, coming of age rituals, Road-giving and councils of war. Livestock are bred and kept in the neighbouring territory (but not Hule, which are acquired elsewhere).

The Blue Jar are not universally respected, especially among other hobgoblin groups. They are generally despised by the Ghost Face tribe for maintaining relations with some Troglodyte tribes, for example. They are currently striving to retain their independence from the Red Mantle Legion.

They have cordial relations with certain Troglodyte groups, from whom they acquire minerals for their glazes and are both wary of and keen to sell to Grulocks and frequently visit duergar cities such as Tainted Angel, where they can do a great deal of trade. They are wary of the Stilth.

The Blue Jar can provide an adventuring party with supplies, directions, medical assistance, news, warnings and even a replacement player character.

Shokan's Place

A tavern in Jackdog Town.

 

The building is ramshackle, with a reed thatched roof, though it does not leak or let in drafts. Windows are small and made of pig-hide just thin enough to let in a little light in the daytime, when the door is normally left open. The windows have mismatched shutters. There is no chimney - smoke disappears through the roof. Tables were all built by Shokan, with the largest made of the bed of the wagon he arrived on (the axles of which were used in the roof). 

The bar is five metres long and carved with an intricate abstract design. The wood was stolen from a temple during a raid on an indigenous (elf) settlement and a cartographer can discern a map to the Hidden Valley, on a suitably difficult skill test.

There are seven stools and Shokan always insists one stay empty. He loses his shit if it is used and a spare not provided.

Shokan serves two types of beer: an ale and a dwarf-recipe stout. Also a couple of spirits and an over-sweet liquor he calls 'Tongues' because you can speak any language while drinking it (effect ends when the alcohol wears off).

Also serves cold meats, nuts, dried berries, apples, trail biscuits, candles, flint and steel kits, and other small, useful items.

 Shokan

Level 4 Fighter.

A big but not the biggest, tells stories of his times in the gladiatorial pit and carefully cultivates his reputation and 'aura' (mainly to encourage a peaceful bar). Quick thinker, smarter than many, knows his customers even if he doesn't respect them. Only leaves the bar to sleep, eat and haggle for supplies. 

Modifiers (+1) to Str, Con, Wis. 

Skills include gambling, intimidate, knowledge of the local area, notice, persuade, anything to do with business.

Gear includes a sword, an old vest of armour (scale or something similar), a cudgel,  a dagger, a cloak of concealment and smart clothes. 

Barkeeps

Roll some d6: Afternoon: 1d6; Evening 2d6; Festivals, Holy Days and Weekends, 3d6.

1. Jormykr.  Big northman, overly friendly. dark auburn hair, eyes the blue of a northern sky. A veteran. Left arm badly scarred, doesn't like to talk about it.

2. El. An elf woman. Folk say she was pulled from a burning house by her human foster parents.  They don't say they were the ones that set the fire. 

3. Cyanitis. A huge man with a permanent idiot expression and a living giant reptile-bat embedded in his chest and shoulder, which does all the talking. 

4. Kanuta. A quiet-spoken and serious woman who arrived in town as a slave but everyone has forgotten. Including, it seems, her owner.

5. Face. Stocky male who never takes the sack off that he wears over his head. Funny, its only got one eye-hole. In the middle...

6. Growler.  A wolf hound. left behind by a guest, years ago. 

Regulars  

Roll d6 to see how many are in at any given time.

1. The Mercenary: Krantzia, disinherited noble daughter of a powerful southern house; one arm is inhumanly hairy, the result of a witch's curse.

2. The Outlaw: Sandholm; everyone knows what he is but he is tolerated amongst the town folk (if not by the soldiery of the nearby fort) as he preys only on the wealthy merchants and kills only armed men. Said to be accompanied by a bear when in the woods, but it is never seen in town.

3. The Hunter: Malakius Whitestag, so-called for his obsession with a certain white stag he once was wounded by. The wound festers still, giving him a limp in his left leg. Some say the fortunes of the Jackdog Town depend on him never catching his quarry. Others, of course, say the opposite...

4. The Orc: Duzhgal took everyone by surprise six months ago by riding in on a horse, like any sane person would. No one is quite sure what to make of the newcomer, nor keen to test the orc's mettle with the great sword it wears on its back. (Also, round here, the word 'orc' can mean different things... )

5. The Dwarf Prospector: Tankerance Bluetooth is prospecting for glimquartz, a mineral known to glow faintly in absolute darknes, enough to provide the equivalent of dim light for 5' for a human and which is given as talismans by dwarf parents to their children (it helps them to see where they are).

6. The Whore: A heart of gold and a purseful of dust, Selnia has friendships in many quarters because of her good deeds and caring attitude towards others despite not having much to share.

7. The Madman: Mantic Hardhaven is touched by the gods. Or by something else. His visions often bring him to his knees in the middle of the street. Trouble is, some of the things he sees, are recognised by those who hear his desperate descriptions of them.

8. The Gambler: Lona Dearhart was raised with money and care but never learned to settle down. Somewhere along the way, she learned all manner of games of chance, from knuckles to dice, and from backgammon to dominoes. Everyone says don't play against her when she's wearing green... 

 Folk Of Reknown

Sometimes, well-known or even famous people might be found here. Sometimes, its even a good thing.

1. The Shire Reeve, Duncan of Trie, occassionally visits Shokar's place just to 'slum it' with the locals. He thinks it helps him 'stay in touch' with the common folk. He always comes with an armed guard. Gets drunk and then weeps about some past indiscretion none but (allegedly) Stargadder knows about.

2. The Falcon Of Mirlev (Bard), otherwise known as Leomar the Unmatched. A fine bard, plain and simple, whose coming is always a delight to all. Plays the lute, ridicules dwarfs and emulates elves, seduces men and women alike and always leaves everyone wanting just a bit more. Sincerity, maybe.

3.  The Duellist Of Kelenved, Sadonel the Swift. Said by many to be the fastest blade in Meikos. Not really keen to prove her prowess, as killing haunts her. Makes ballads and poems in her head but only shares them under duress or when drunk. Can sing too, but only sober.

4. The Bishop, Aukinslade of Drimsdale. A holy man, who seeks to contain the duke's most fierce ambitions and give the diverse peoples of the region a chance to meld naturally into one nation, despite all their differences.

5. The Knight, Sir Belicassus of Erstwhere, passes through from time to time on quests, patrols, sorties against 'the enemy' (who he never identifies, but is possibly either orcs, a specific dragon, goblinoids and monsters in general, or just anyone he doesn't like). 

6. The Emissary of the Elves, Irithiel of the Leafy Shade. This role was forced upon Irithiel, as emmissary duty to humans always is, as it is basically punishment duty, though nonetheless undertaken with all sobriety and gravity. Now forced to try and understand the halfwits that are humans and even remain on good terms with some of them.

7. The Captain of the Guard, Captain Stargadder. A big, burly, somewhat brutal man, capable of astonishing violence on those with whom he has conflict. Comes here sometimes to get away from the 'airs and graces' of the castle.  

8. Thurmojid the Brave an ex-soldier from the Duke's army in the south and deadly with blade or axe in any one-to-one fight. Said to be looking for an abandoned dwarf mine that is still full of silver. Has a liking for Lona, but they're not an item.